I've recently (the past 6 months or so) been searching for something in my life to more complete the emptiness that I've felt, for almost all my life. I'm not talking about a feeling of lack of love, or family and friends, I have more of that then I'll ever understand how to fully enjoy. I'm talking about the deep down gut feeling of lack of fulfillment; in myself as a person. I've always been the type to read self help books, and try to find reasons for this emptiness.
This time around I've tried a different approach. I began a bible study this past June with a group of women. I was a little hesitant at first, I'm not an educated person when it comes to religion, and in return do not feel quite comfortable with the subject. But something in me was pulled towards this study. We did an 8 week study, Kelly Minter's No Other Gods.
Since this study I've been learning about the power of prayer, and what it really means to live by God's word. I never would have thought I would have been someone to have a belief or faith in something I couldn't touch or see. I was so close minded to learn about something that was out of my comfort zone. My curiosity is like a kid in a candy store though. The things I've been learning about myself, and how God really can help with insecurities, and that really insecurity is just a lack of faith has really brought understanding to why I have felt this way my whole life.
I'm still trying to wrap myself around the idea of God... (Here's to Breaking Free, with Beth Moore! the current study I've been enjoying) I think that I will for a bit until I understand what it means to be a person of faith. But I think Gods really showing me the power he has. I've been praying about certain things that I think only he can help us with and he's showing himself to me. My emptiness, isn't as empty... Its corny but my quality of life has improved amazingly. I also think a bonus in all this, I'm able to meet people and build friendships with some amazing women.
I'm pretty sure this was his plan, I'm just amazed I am actually able to be part of it. A relationship is a 50-50 participation, you need to believe in one another and it takes two to get to know each other. So here's a cheers to getting to know you! (and God!)
Not that what I think matters much in relation to this change in your life, but I am extremely pleased for you. You have always impressed me as a "seeker" - but of what, I wasn't sure. Now I am. My deepest hope for you is that you come to feel blessed, more and more of the time, by God. May you see God in everything, everywhere you look. Your friend and sort of Dad, Dick.
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